The Porn King of Compaction America (07/06/04)
My job at Compaction America is basically to support users and their computers. When they have a personal problem, it's my job to go and listen to them, give some advice and sometimes refer them to a specific 1-800 number tailored to their "special needs".
Well not that kind of support. More along the lines of telling them to reboot their computer, or in as kind way as possible, convince them that bonzi buddy is not really their buddy, but a cyper-terorist bent on earning their trust and then bringing their little world down all around them.
The laptops users are different than the local users. They have special privelages and set ups. For example, I don't have to delete Microsoft Solitaire from their computers when setting up new units, so they have something to do when waiting in a terminal for their plane. They have special Lotus Notes setups, and I have to configure them to get onto the SPX VPN. (That's buzzword speak for "installing an extra program")
When they come in for meetings or whatever, my department will usually make sure that Windows Updates is recent, anti-virus is ok, and install anything extra. This is in an ideal world... The truth of the matter is that I spend more time REMOVING damned spyware than anything else.
Mr. D (as we will call him) has to be the worst offender. Remember those 1-800 numbers I was talking about above? He needs one for "1-800-Pr0n-Addiction." My Dad tells me that before he got his MILM (Mobile Interactive Love Machine...or laptop) he would carry a bag with him to his next location. Inside the bag would be a VCR and many porn videos. I'm also assuming there were many boxes of his favorite type of cleanex or paper towel.
And now his urethra cleansing habit has affected me. Enough to waste an entire morning trying to clean his system. I lost this battle and his laptop sits beside me even now as I type this. I just finished formatting and am now installing a "virgin" copy of Windows XP. (pun intended...as in a few days time it will again become a slutty little whore of a laptop.)
He had quite a collection of spyware blasting his system and an awesome collection of links he had frequented in the last few weeks. I took it upon myself to take screenshots of this crime against IT workers everywhere and publish them here.
Good job Mr. D! You've managed to screw up your toolbar, search frame, and even have your computer trying to get an update from Free Broswer Plugin! At least you are putting the embedded search engine in your toolbar to good use with it looking for "anal sex.com".
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I wonder how he ended up at
netnanny.
Per chance thinking it was some
illicit nanny sex site.
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Do you think he likes big tits?
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I don't know that mike in brazil
is a porn link.
But I like to think that it is.
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Almost a shut out.
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Lastly, something seriously messed up his mouse, so that it either didn't work, the left click would right click, or it would just forever right click, like this.
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